his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
