first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
