Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You're like the curious george of whores
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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