I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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