great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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