so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
