i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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