i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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