Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
id be glad to
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I cut my penus on the lid.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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