Me. At least after what I've been through.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.