can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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