I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
