you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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