do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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