FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
