How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
