Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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