mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize