I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize