I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
if only i could text you this smell
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
