we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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