She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
