if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
