Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
