Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize