Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
