So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
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We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
A+ Viking dick
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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