at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
