I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?