Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.

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(315): View more from New York

i think i just puked on my phone

(1-315): View more from New York

we live great lives

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(415): View more from California

the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...

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(904): View more from Florida

Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?

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(480): View more from Arizona

Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did

(617): View more from Massachusetts

So it was a successful night I take it?

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