I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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