Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
