I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
