Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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