would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
