Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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