Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Help. Why am I so naked?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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