Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
