Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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