what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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