Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
