is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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