Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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