sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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