With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize