I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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