I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
