I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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