why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
