Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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