Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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