You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
