When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I smell stomach acid.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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