I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize