I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
