She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
