My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
