This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
