im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
