just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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