You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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