I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
