this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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