what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
