im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
