i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
