Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
